Like Switch : An Ex-fbi Agent's Guide to Influencing, Attracting, and Winning People over (9781476754505) by Schafer Jack; Karlins Marvin

Like Switch : An Ex-fbi Agent's Guide to Influencing, Attracting, and Winning People over (9781476754505) by Schafer Jack; Karlins Marvin

Author:Schafer, Jack; Karlins, Marvin
Language: eng
Format: epub, mobi
Publisher: Simon & Schuster


THE LIP PURSE

No one can read minds, but they can come close by observing non­verbal displays. Some nonverbal cues are more obvious than others. The obvious cues are easier for observers to read and interpret. Likewise, obvious cues are easier for speakers to control, thus camouflaging their true thoughts. Subtle nonverbal cues are harder to control and reveal more intimate information. The lips are one area of the body that can reveal these subtle cues.

A lip purse display is a slight, almost imperceptible, puckering or rounding of the lips (see photos on page 135). This gesture signals dissension or disagreement. The more pronounced the lip purse, the more intense is the dissension or disagreement. Pursed lips mean the person has formed a thought in their mind that is in opposition to what is being said or done.

Knowing what a person thinks gives you an advantage. The trick is to change their mind before they have an opportunity to articulate their opposition. Once an opinion or decision is expressed out loud, changing a person’s mind becomes more difficult due to the psychological principle of consistency. Decision-making causes tension to some degree. When a person makes a decision, tension dissipates. They are less likely to change their mind because to do so would mean admitting their first decision was a bad one, thus causing tension. Maintaining an articulated position causes less tension than going through the ­decision-making process again no matter how persuasive the arguments for change may be. In other words, when people say something, they tend to remain consistent with what they said.



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